TJEd Forum: James Ferrell and Helping Things Go Right

This year at the TJEd (Thomas Jefferson Education) forum in Salt Lake City, James Ferrell was the key note.  If you are familiar with Arbinger Institute publications (which I highly recommend), you will be very familiar with this content.  Here is the in-a-nutshell version laced with my thoughts.

How to Influence is a topic that is on the brains of all Leadership Education parents.  Especially if you are a parent mentoring young adults.  Those teen years are the years when we question who is having the greatest influence and if it is great influence. 

Mr. Ferrell presented two ways to use our time.  There is the wrong way and the right way:).  The wrong way is dealing with things going wrong and the right way is helping things go right.  Sounds simple, right?  If you have experience with Arbinger, you know that the right way is probably going to be a little painful.

Helping things go right means we have to look at ourselves and how our way of being is impacting our relationships and the world around us.

On Monday, I tearfully came to the conclusion that I was spending all of my time dealing with things going wrong.  And the universe was in agreement…and decided to continue to aid me in dealing with things going wrong by giving me more wrong things with which to deal.

It’s a natural law you know…the universe always combines for us in our efforts. So, I had to make some sudden and painful changes in order to trick the universe into helping me help things go right.  It worked.  Or at least has so far.  I’m being diligent in focusing on how I am being and I like seeing how things can go right.

Plus, I am so tricky.

Other weekly wrap-ups here!

Structure Time, not Content

In the Leadership Education model of education, one of the 7 keys to great teaching is Structure Time, not Content.  Doesn’t that sound wonderful?  Visions of everyone productively working on projects that make their hearts flutter are filling your head right now.

I once read a veteran homeschool mom say that one day in ten is perfect and I think she is about right.  One day in ten I see that vision a reality.  But what about all the other days?  Some of my children are working hard at projects, and some are doing what appears to be NOTHING.  This is when the conveyor belt hangover kicks in and I want to structure all of the content all day.  Problem is, everyone needs a little time to get bored and think before they create.  Sometimes those down times are exactly what we need.  Even if they look like time wasters from the outside.  Nobody can be 100% visually productive all the time.  Think of the law of the harvest.  We have to plant a seed (Inspire) and let it germinate, then grow, then we weed and water, and then …we harvest.  There’s a lot going on under the ground that you can’t see!

Here are a few things I have found helpful in structuring time, not content:

Work first, choice time after.  This is our current method of operation.  I have found that doing a little work every morning to keep our home running smoothly makes everyone more productive.  Let’s just say they can’t wait to start choosing something else to do :).  First thing, we have a morning devotional with the whole family that Papa runs.  Then breakfast and morning chores.  We work most of the morning together and then eat lunch, have read aloud time and then they have about 4 hours of choice time.  During that choice time I take time to work with each child individually on something and I use the rest of the time to set an example of scholarly behavior by studying. (Scholars have a different routine)

School time first, free time and chores after. When I had younger and fewer children and a smaller home, this is how we scheduled our time.  We started the day with a devotional and kidschool, had choice time until lunch and then we had free time and chores the rest of the day.  I changed from this because I found myself nagging about chores in the afternoon (by then, who wants to do that?) and it was interrupting my own studies.

My studies. My study time is an essential part of the structure.  Sometimes I am working on a writing project.  Sometimes I am working on a teaching lesson, or a service project, or a household project that I need to finish quickly.  But the majority of the time, afternoons are study time for me too.  When we are all there together an expectation hangs in the air that this is what we do.  This is how you get a liberal education and show others how to do it.

Remove distractions. This is an ongoing project for me right now.  I read an e-book titled Headgates that helped me better grasp how to remove distractions.  Another resource for this is the lazy organizer.  I think there have been a lot of positive and negative things said about Headgates, but I have found that by taking what works for my family I am already seeing great progress in the right direction.  If you don’t remove distractions and make available the things with which you want to inspire your children, you will have a big muddle of structure time, not content.

I’m Bored! At my house I rarely hear these words.  If they are uttered I have an automatic response.  More work!  There are always more jobs to be done and if someone is going to pester me they get to do one.  The verbal notification lets me know to put a little more effort into inspiring them around something interesting.

A few things I think structuring time and not content teaches students:

Trust – We trust them to make good choices.  We also value their interests.

Responsibility – They are responsible for their own education.  That is a simple truth.  You can’t make your student learn, they have to want to learn.  Choosing not to structure content gives them the responsibility to find their way.

Learning is work – You don’t learn by always taking the easy road. Learning isn’t entertainment.  You can’t sit back and have someone entertain you into knowledge.

For a very brief beginners intro to the Leadership Education 7 Keys of Great Teaching visit Simple Homeschool.  For a solid introduction to Leadership Education I recommend reading A Thomas Jefferson Education and Leadership Education by the DeMilles.

Photos:

Pictures of our outing to the local chapter of The Society for Creative Anachronism’s Renaissance Faire.  The kids got to do some fun hands-on creations as you can see, but the highlight was the sword fighting.  My crew  could have stayed all day.  They got to battle adults as well as other kids in the ring…using foam swords thankfully!

Dumbing it Down Doesn’t Work

I taught a class recently on studying the scriptures.  The comments made by many of the class members struck me as a bigger problem in our country.  We were discussing how to inspire our children and grandchildren to love the scriptures.  Some of the suggestions made were to: watch videos about the scripture stories; get picture books and board books on the scriptures; etc. And there was an over all deflation around what to do with teenagers.  I was nearly speechless. And that is only because I felt it necessary to hold my tongue.

I don’t think dumbing the scriptures down is the way to be inspiring around the scriptures.  The youth of today are begging us to STOP dumbing things down. They are writing books about it.

We have been purging our book collection…er, library would be a better description.  We have SO many books.  As we have been boxing up books, I have found my children have the easier time letting go of the dumbed down stuff than me. For instance, abridged versions of any book.  They don’t want them.  They want the whole story.  Even my eight year old is disgusted by the abridged books we apparently have been housing on our shelves.

So, how do we inspire them to love the scriptures, or math, or music, or history, or ……?

We love it.  We have to love it.  If we want to inspire, then we have to be inspiring around that subject.  That means we find our own passion and we share it.  It’s You, not Them! And yes, it can be difficult.  But don’t you think we should show our kids that we can ‘do hard things‘ and succeed?

The Morning Routine – It’s a Puzzle

We love puzzles. It’s a great feeling to have all those little pieces in their place where you can see clearly the big picture.  I don’t like little puzzle pieces all over the floor – scattered – chewed by the dog or stuck in a couch cushion.  Sometimes at the end of the day I feel like our school day was successful and I can see the big picture.  Some days I feel like the puzzle pieces are scattered everywhere and it’s hard to pick it all up.  This year I learned just how much our morning routine influences how the puzzle of the day goes together.

Structure is important for children.  Routine and predictability breeds security and confidence to explore. In our home we apply the principles of Leadership Education, where “Structure Time, not Content” is a principle.  I’m not the best at structure.  At heart I prefer spontaneity, but as a mother of five I have learned that structure can be my best friend.

As the children grow, their needs and schedules change and we are in a different place today then we were six months ago.  I have five children ranging in age from one to thirteen.  That means I have a napper and a young adult.  They don’t keep the same schedule.  So how do I run an organized school and home that can accommodate everyone and end the day with a smile on my face? Here are a few pieces of the puzzle for me:

Get Ready….Me Time
Before my baby was born last March I was great about getting up and working out and showering before the kids were up.  Not so easy when you are running on fumes.  After nearly a year of pulling myself out of bed and sometimes getting a shower, I have found I just have to get up first.  A year from now that may include a workout and a hair do, for now it means a few minutes of personal study time a shower and teeth brushed. My oldest daughter gets up before I do most days and has an hour or more of studying under her belt by the time we have devotional

Get Set….Devotional
We like to come together as a family to read from our core book.  For us that is scripture. We roust all the children (except the babe..if she is still sleeping), sing a hymn, read a little, discuss and then have a prayer as a family before my husband goes to work.

Get Going!
After devotional the children have an hour to do their morning chores, get ready for the day and eat breakfast.  If I’m already to go I am there to cheerfully help those who need some mentoring.

After everything is in place, we are ready to start the best part of the day…In other words, we get the edges of the days puzzle in place and the inside comes together nicely.

This is working for us now….but it will change again.

How do you start the day?  Please share your favorite morning routine ideas.